I’ve been thinking a lot lately about schools and stuff.
Coming to Taylor has really been a big adjustment for me. I grew up in the public school system and as a Christian, every day I had a clear mission field. It wasn’t easy, and it took a ton of courage to stand against the grain. I saw many of my Christian friends give up in both obvious and subtle ways. As a Christian, there are so many ways to stand out and be different in one’s environment. I experienced this sort of thing every day. Despite everything, I saw many self-proclaimed non-Christian friends watch my life and the lives of those who were Christians closely. It wasn’t so much that we were always the weird ones. Sometimes we were the only ones standing for something wholesome, something good.
Let me pause now because as I write this, I don’t want to come across as somehow thinking of my friends and myself as better than non Christians. That’s not the case. We weren’t always perfect, and I definitely learned a thing or two from my non-Christian friends. Yet, overall, we were the ones who took a stand for the right thing, the moral thing. So as a kid trying to live out my walk with God and help others see him, school was tough. It took courage and committment and countless reminders that it would all be worth it in the end.
And then I came to Taylor.
Not saying it’s a bad school. In all respects, it’s a great school.
But it’s not the school I am used to.
Lately, I found myself almost missing the challenges that my public high school gave me. I feel my walk with God growing lukewarm. There’s little to no challenge here outside of the usual academic challenges. The opportunity for impacting others’ lives is completely different. In classes, professors pray, read verses, kids bring up faith issues. Sometimes I still find myself looking around, waiting for someone to get us in trouble. It’s completely different. I find myself desperate for some sense of the world outside our Taylor bubble. I miss the incredible God stories of people coming one step closer to Him. I almost miss walking through the hallways of my high school knowing that half of the people I encounter won’t have a real relationship with God but today, I can give them a glimpse of mine
Here, it can seem that the God stories are less, or at least less life changing. I’ve found that living in a totally Christian community can lead to apathy if you’re not careful. Even here, I have to make it a point to seriously want to have a great relationship with my Father.
It’s an adjustment.
And I hope that somehow I can have some kind of impact on this small Christian school. In then end, God has put me here for a reason,.